trashboat:

i get anxious for people who fall asleep on public transit. like where is your home? how many stops have you missed? this was not a time for a nap

(via byemitch)

shutupaubrey:

you don’t own a dog? sorry I can’t come over I’m busy today

(via niklausemikaelson)

edwad:

*phone rings*
“hello”
“hi! is your refrigerator running”
“yes it is”
“mine is as well! can’t wait to see your fridge at the race tomorrow”

(via crappybird)

"I’d rather be in your bed."
thankyoucorndog:

cataclysmic-soul:

majiinboo:

queertodaygonetomorrow:

atane:

wristxrocket:

dear-drifter:

lilightfoot:

Remember.

his life was totally in danger.

^^^^

True story; this officer (John Pike) got a settlement of $38,000 because he said he got depressed after pepper spraying these kids. Oh, the depression wasn’t for feeling remorseful for pepper spraying a bunch of college kids peacefully protesting. He got depressed because he said since the media kept playing the video of him pepper spraying peaceful kids without cause, he got threats and didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe. I’m not making that up. This motherfucker collected nearly 40 grand on worker’s comp after assaulting a bunch of college kids.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/23/pepper-spray-cop-settlement_n_4152147.html

white people are literally demons

Excuse me? White people are not demons, I am white and I am not a demon. That’s such a horrible thing to say, you don’t even know half of us. Stop saying things like this.

how do you read this whole post and only get upset at that

twinking:

girl: deeper!!!!

boy

image

(via hxrrypctter)

5060072089124:

i know what you’re thinking haha who did i have to kill to get this url

(via hxrrypctter)

egg-rolls:

when u stand up 2 fast n suddenly ur floatin thru space n time

(via wifipasswords)

sniffing:

Having sex in elevators is wrong on so many levels.

(via spocksquad)

clamjob:

i want to be ur favorite person and i want u to like me as much as i like u

(via spocksquad)

hachikuji:

… I’m going back to sleep

peble:

did i actually save or did i imagine it? better save eleven more times

(via vigilan-tea)

theme